|
|
Post by misssmartie93 on Jan 30, 2010 18:18:50 GMT -5
Craig stared blankly at the ceiling of his bedroom. For a moment it felt as if he could hardly breathe, his lungs burned yet he did not struggle to gasp for breath. He had felt this feeling before, and it was nothing unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. The world outside was bright and fun, but for Craig it was like he was in his own personal black whole. How long had he been there for? He gathered up enough strength to turn his head to the phone. There were seven messages. It didn’t mean he was there for seven days, it probably meant two or three. His sister tended to worry about him quickly if he didn’t call everyday. Poor Bessie, he caused her so much stress. Craig didn’t want any of his problems to bother her, nor did he want to make her feel like they should be her problems as well. But sometimes, it was pretty much inevitable. Craig had struggled all their life to protect her. Whether it was from horrible foster parents, kids at school, abusive boyfriends. He’d do anything for that kid, though sometimes he still felt like everything he did just wasn’t enough. Adding this stress onto her probably didn’t help.
He felt bad that he hadn’t been able to stop her from overdosing. He should have been their when their biological mother showed up on her doorstep. Well, that bitch should never have tried to come into either of their lives in the first place, but regardless, Craig was supposed to protect Esmerelda from people like their biological mother. And why wasn’t he there when it happened? He was with Jazlyn. Not that he was blaming Jazlyn for any of this, he would never put the blame for something she didn’t even remotely cause. But he was too busy with his girlfriend to find out what was going on in his sister’s life. She was his sister for God’s sake and he let her nearly die! Thank God that his old friend Braydin had found her, though how he had found her he would never know. He just couldn’t believe that Esmerelda would do that to herself. He didn’t even know that she knew how or where to get drugs in the first place. But really? Booze? Weed? Cocaine? What was going on with her? She nearly lost her life, all because of their no good of a biological mother. And Craig thought she had been dead all these years. Guess not.
It made him sick to his stomach that that bitch was pregnant. It could have been with her third child, or even more. God only knows. Did Craig and Bessie have any other siblings, thanks to their mother? Neither of them knew who their fathers were, so that was a stale mate. All they knew was that they certainly did not share a father. But Craig had been born with enough problems, then Esmerelda had been born with ADD and a learning disorder thanks to their mother’s drug and alcohol abuse. You’d think that after two children that can barely function in normal society, the government would do something about that. But no, things like this went under the radar. It didn’t matter that a sixteen year old girl nearly took her own life because of the things that happened in her life. It just didn’t matter to the people that had other things to worry about. But it mattered to Craig and it nearly tore him up inside. Craig turned his head away from the phone to look back up at the ceiling. He just didn’t care anymore. He knew that he felt like this a lot, but he had never felt so depressed in his entire life. And that was certainly saying something.
• • •
|
|
|
|
Post by jazlynoutrageous on Feb 5, 2010 18:49:35 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  -------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - OUTFIT
Jazlyn had woken up to her alarm blaring at her. It was one o'clock. She didn't even wanna get up at all. Her body felt numb and she didn't want to move. She didn't know what Craig was up to today but she really wasn't really in the mood to even care. It seemed mean but something had happened last night. Something she wasn't here for til she got the call. Her sister had cut herself deep and Jazlyn was driving. It was a good thing that the hospital wasn't that far from where they lived. She had gotten there before her sister was rushed into the emergency room. Their brother had made the 911 call, thankfully he was home with her. She had been a mess all night and she prayed that her sister would make it out alive. Jazlyn didn't even bother to call Craig because she didn't want him to worry nor rush to see her. It was something she had to do on her own like everything else. That's all she was used to. Doing things on her own like a single mother. Jazlyn felt like a single mother all the time. Even though it was her siblings not her own kids. But still she had to take care of them cause there wasn't anyone else to lend a helping hand. No one out of their big family even talked to them. It was like they were outcasted after their parents had died. Like it was their fault and they were being punished for it. Jazlyn some days couldn't even cope with any of this shit. She sometimes felt like curling up and dying inside. Today was one of those days where she just wish she could die. Depression had hit her hard and she tired coping. It was hard when you didn't have anything to help you or anyone. Craig was there for her but she didn't even want to bother him for a little help. She just wanted to know that she was gonna be alright and everything was gonna work out for the best. But life isn't like that, is it? You never know what kind of cards you are gonna be dealt. Everyone wishes and blows on that dice for good luck but hell sometimes you get the shittest roll of the dice. She felt uneased and lost. Jazlyn for once in her life didn't know what to do and it scared her. She had to get up though to check on her brother and to see if he was alright. Last night must have been hell for him more so since he found their sister. Jazlyn was always worrying about her brother and sister. There wasn't a time she wasn't thinking about them or worrying her little head off about how they were feeling. What else was she suppose to do. Jazlyn decided it was time to get up from her bed. Her nice, warm and comfy bed that just didn't want to let her go. She groaned as she got up and walked across and down the hallway to her brothers room. All she could hear was snoring coming from his other side of the door. So, he must have been still sleeping. Jazlyn smiled as she walked by her sisters room. Her sister had been kept in the psych ward in the hospital for looking after. Jazlyn didn't wanna chance having her come home and doing it again. Cause it only took one more time to make it all end. She knew, boy did she know.
No one and I mean no one knew what Jazlyn had done last summer. And there wasn't no way she was letting anyone know about it. She had hid her scars and no one seemed to notice them. Which was the way she wanted things. So, last night wasn't something she felt like handling. Her sister hadn't done as much as she did but she had done the same concept. She had started cutting right before her parents died. Life was stressful and after her parents dying, it took the cake so they say. She felt free and everything seemed to pour right out of her whenever she were to cut herself. Well, it was time to make herself somewhat attractive. She had made plans to see Craig today. Jazlyn didn't really wanna pass up a day to see him either because of things going on in her life right now. She needed to see someone that'd put a smile on her face. If she didn't, she'd be doing something right now that would possibly end her life or have her put in the hospital along with her sister. So, she grabbed an outfit and jumped into the shower. Jazlyn let the warm and comfy water hit her naked body as she hummed to herself in the shower. She was done in like thirty minutes, ha. Sometimes she took forever in the shower but who cared? Her parents weren't around to bitch about it and her siblings took just as long as she did in the shower. So, there wasn't anyone around to yell or bitch at them for anything. Which was nice but she missed her parents just being there even if it was when she was getting yelled at for something she thought was stupid. Jazlyn got out of the shower and turned the water off. She dried herself off with a towel and started putting on her outfit. Then she walked up to the mirror and brushed her teeth, did her makeup and did something with her hair. She looked cute today but she still looked a train had ran her over. The bags under her eyes were horrendous. But she wasn't going to waste time and put some cover up under her eyes. Okay, she put a little bit but she only did that so Craig wouldn't question anything. But then again knowing him. He'd ask her if she was alright and if anything was wrong. She forgot sometimes that she was dating a genius after all.
Jazlyn walked out of the bathroom just in time because her brother had been waiting outside to use it. She smiled at him and he smiled back. Good, he didn't look too upset. She had planned to go see her sister with her brother after seeing Craig. She needed some form of happiness right now. She let out a gasp of breath before she grabbed her purse and jacket. Jazlyn walked downstairs and to the kitchen. She had left a note for her brother. Saying that she'd pick him up after she went to see Craig. So, they could both go see their sister together. Jazlyn left some money for pizza and was out the door in no time. She locked it from outside and walked up to her car. She started the engine and jumped into the drivers seat. As she put her seat belt on tears started to stream down her face. Of course she was gonna now break down when there wasn't a soul around her. Jazlyn just let the tears fall onto her outfit as she drove to town. She had gotten to Craigs apartment in what seemed like seconds. Jazzy had wiped her face before she had knocked on his apartment door. She hoped he was home but he was busy too. She clinged to the damn door knob like the floor was going to fall out from under her. Her hands were turning red from holding onto it so tightly. Any longer and her hands were going to go completely numb but then again she wouldn't have cared. Jazlyn waited for a noise, some kind of noise to come from inside. She started worrying after a few minutes of standing there. God, she really needed to get herself together. She was falling apart right at his apartment door. This wasn't the time to confess that she was a cutter to Craig or to what had happened last night. Ugh, what was she doing. It was like world war four was going on inside her head. She wanted to just walk away and leave. Maybe that was good for her right now but something had made her stay here. Like her feet were glued to the damn floor.
[/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by misssmartie93 on Feb 11, 2010 18:27:52 GMT -5
craigMARKemory
[/size][/center] Craig’s eyes had yet to shift from the ceiling. It was as if even that was too much for him. He felt like he was a drug addict: lost to the world and sinking into his surroundings. It was true that he had felt the effects of drugs before, such as anti-depressants, but he refused to touch illegal drugs. He was already messed up enough. Craig knew how it felt ot be numb, to be merely a shell of a person with no soul inside of him. It was like he was only going through the actions of life, rather than experiencing them for himself. He didn’t know why he had listened to the doctor’s advice; it was stupid really. Craig was one thesis away from earning his doctorate at merely 20 years old. If Craig was smart enough to have a Ph. D. by his name, he figured he should have been smart enough to realize the pulls weren’t going to help him. In a way he knew, but there was part of his brain that was trying to desperately cling onto some shred of normality. Though in the he supposed normality was not and never would be for him. He was evidence of that; it wasn’t just something he said or did to be dramatic. He had dealt with his abundance of mental problems his entire life, thanks to his crack whore of a mother. How could that just go away with a little happy pull? It couldn’t and he always ended up going off his meds, then he would end up in the state he currently was consumed by. Sot here was no winner. Craig could either go on his medication, feel like a robot, and not live his life, or he could not take the drugs and stay in the vicious cycle of depression.
Either way he felt defective. Hell, he was fairly certain that he was defective. You know how a lot of people said you weren’t supposed to blame your problems on your parents? Well, Craig did and he felt very justified in doing so. He didn’t even know who his real father was, nor did he have any proper male influences or role models for the majority of his life. That on its own opened him up to enough problems as it was. But on top of that, his mother was a drunk, a smoker, and a druggie. Not to mention she was a slut on top of everything else. And everyone else. Ha. In Craig’s opinion, it was a miracle he wasn’t expelled out of her womb coated in more diseases than a hospital toilet seat. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t defected, because it was quite obvious he did have more problems than any human should handle. Would things have been different for him if he had been born to a normal family? Maybe, but he knew they would certainly be different for Esmerelda; she wouldn’t have been born addicted to crack nor would she have a learning disorder. Or maybe they could have been born to their ho of a mother, but been adopted right away by the family that adopted them, rather than just having a million foster families. Both Emory children would have had a more normal upbringing and perhaps their lives would be more normal now. True, Craig had profited from his lack of social skills by observing human behaviour, but he quickly learned that money wasn’t everything. After all, here he was, rich without having to be exposed as some sort of celebrity, yet he was still unable to control the emotions or therefore lack of that seemed to overwhelm him. He was one Hell of a flawed human being.
They only reason he had reached some level of contentment was the fact that he was at least a generally functioning member of society. Though, obviously not at times like these. He couldn’t really classify the thing he was doing right now- which was essentially lying here for days doing nothing- as being someone who is functioning. He hadn’t eaten, he hadn’t gone to work, he hadn’t called anyone. He went to the bathroom a few times, but after awhile there was nothing to expel. That generally happens when you don’t eat anything. Craig was debating getting food, only to find himself not caring. Well that was a usual pattern for Craig, only this time he didn’t foresee himself getting out of it. His little sister almost died for God’s sake! He couldn’t just forget about that, he couldn’t just ignore that desperate cry for help. The saddest thing was that he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Why not? Because he couldn’t find the strength within him to move. Even know, as someone knocked at the door, he didn’t care who it was. Craig couldn’t help it. That’s just how he was when it came to his depression. When he was numb it was like he just couldn’t give a damn about anything, but care about everything at the same time. It was both a confusing and painful endeavour for Craig, something that he didn’t know how to get out of. He continued to lie there, rather than answer the door. Why bother? It was probably just his mother wanting to see if he was alright. Or maybe Bessie or Jazlyn. Whatever. Bessie knew where the spare key was, as did his mother. Though he would much prefer it if no one came in the first place. He still couldn’t find the ability to move. He almost wanted to give up breathing but that was too automatic. But it made his lungs heavy and consequently his heart felt like a million pounds. It was amazing that one could feel so numb and yet be so full of emotion. It sucked. c m e
what am I wearing? am i nude?
am I crazy? what’s in my head?
how many words? 977
who’s my reader? jazlyn
who made this template? @ CLARKY ! DON'T FREAKING STEAL ![/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by jazlynoutrageous on Feb 15, 2010 0:11:14 GMT -5
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jazlyn was about ready to give up. She just felt like leaving his place and just going back home to sleep til she had to go see her sister. She really wanted to see him and she was worried about him. He didn't answer her calls or anything before she had got here. Something was up and she knew it. He wasn't acting the same like he was when she had slept over. Maybe something had happened with his sister. Jazlyn looked around and saw no one and the land lord wasn't at his place. So, she began looking for a key or something. She looked under the mat and found a key. Jazlyn was contemplating on weither she should go in or just leave. Craig probably wanted some alone time but what if he wasn't alright. She couldn't take that chance. Jazlyn had to know that he was okay. So, she put the key into the key hole and turned the knob. Sure enough it was his apartments key. Jazlyn walked slowly into his place and looked around. Craig wasn't anywhere in his living room, dinning room or kitchen. He was probably in his bedroom. She walked a little ways til she got to his rooms door. Jazlyn knocked a few times and called his name out. But still there wasn't any sound coming from inside the room. Now she began to panic when she opened the door slowly. Jazlyn saw him laying there on his bed and he looked lifeless. "Craig!"
[/b] She said as she walked over to him. Jazlyn looked at him and she could tell that he was highly depressed. Something had to have happened. Jazlyn bent down beside him on his bed. She put her arm around him and laid there with him. She didn't know what to say or what to do really. He wasn't dead since he was breathing. He was probably in shock because of whatever happened was so severe that he didn't even wanna talk or move. Jazlyn was worried but then again she had just went through this herself this morning. So, she just kissed his cheek and laid there with him. If he wanted to talk to her, he would. "Shake your head if you are okay well okay enough to not have to go to the hospital. I'm here for you babe. I'm not going anywhere. Okay. You don't have to talk."[/b] Craig probably hadn't ate or anything. But Jazlyn would make him something later to eat. She wasn't really that hungry either after the night she just had. She was always going to be here for him, no matter what. She wanted to do something to make him feel better but there wasn't anything she could possibly do. Maybe he wanted some space. "Babe, do you want some space. I can leave if you want me to. I rather not leave you alone like this but I'll understand if you don't want me here."[/b] Jazlyn wanted to know what was going on but she didn't want him to feel forced like he had to tell her right now. She was going to give it time. Til he was ready to let her in. She was now more than glad that she had found that key. That she had decided to see if he was home. God knows how long he would have been staying in his bed for if no one had shown up. Jazlyn held him and she herself started to cry. Ugh, why did she have to cry in front of him. She felt like such a loser. She felt bad for him and then she felt bad for herself. They sure did have shitty luck that was more than certain. Craig was probably thinking that she thought he was crazy or something. But she had been through hell and back before. So, really she wasn't scared and she wasn't going to leave him just because he got depressed and everything. Hell, she did too after what she had been through. Everyone had their depressing times. More than others, sometimes. Which was Jazlyns case and it seemed to be his as well. She just stayed still and watched him. Making sure he was okay. Craig was just laying there like he was dead but he wasn't. Jazlyn grabbed one of his hands and held it. She squeezed it a little but not too much. "I just want you to know that I love you, Craig. I'm not leaving your side either. Not when your like this. I just wish there was something I could do for you. I really do."[/b] With that she gave him a kiss on his lips and returned to his side. Jazlyn continued to hold him. [/size][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by misssmartie93 on Feb 21, 2010 16:09:59 GMT -5
craigMARKemory
[/size][/center] Craig didn’t know what Jazlyn expected from him right now. He knew what she really wanted. She probably wanted him to just snap out of it and tell her things were going to be alright. Well he couldn’t and that was tough. But come on, that was real life. He wasn’t anyone’s prince charming and it certainly meant he couldn’t be hers. She was living under some delusion that he was perfect and amazing but he wasn’t and she just happened to be finding that out right now. Craig hated her for being so naive and he hated himself for hiding this part of him from her. What was worse was that he hated himself for hating her for being so naive. He knew he shouldn’t blame her, but right now his mind was not in a sane place. In all reality, he was never in a sane place. His life was a constant road of insanity followed by insecurities and road blocks. These just happened to be the moments when things were really insane for him. Obviously, since he had been lying in bed for days unable to move. He hated himself for hating her for being here. He always hated himself but normally he kept that thought to himself. Of course, right now was not going to be any different. He wasn’t about to tell her his whole life story and all of his feelings. But he hated her for being here when all he wanted was to be alone.
He thought that point was apparent when he had not returned any calls nor had he bothered to send any emails or do any work. Some people seemed to get the message, but apparently Jazlyn nor his mother were aware of that. Even Esmerelda had stopped calling in the last day or two. She had been with him his whole life and knew to leave well enough alone. But Jazlyn didn’t and Craig couldn’t stand that. He wanted to kick her out of his apartment but he didn’t know how to say that without hurting her forever. And he didn’t want that. Craig couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He had had girlfriends like this in the past. They thought they could fix him, make him better. They thought by taking him to the hospital that things would suddenly be better. If he needed to go to the hospital, he would have called someone to take him there by now. What would they do if he went? They’d give him some pills, send him to some idiot shrink, and pretend that his life was so much better. He knew all of that was crap and right now Jazlyn was just trying to make herself feel better, feel useful. Craig secretly wished she’d go somewhere. And he hated himself for not wanting him here and he hated himself for feeling so spiteful against her right now. Normal Craig knew she was trying to help, but this Craig didn’t want her help. God, Space was the main thing he wanted right now, but she still didn’t seem to get the message even though she asked the question.
Ugh now she was crying. He wanted to shout at her, to tell her to pull herself together. She wasn’t the one going through this. She wasn’t the one dealing with this her entire life. Why the hell was she crying? Because her prince charming didn’t exist? Pathetic. And again with hating himself for thinking these thoughts. Normal Craig would never even dare think something bad of Jazlyn. It sucked more than he could even describe. Ugh Craig, couldn’t stand this anymore. He got up from the bed and stormed to the washroom without saying a word. He slammed the door behind him with such a for that the mirror rattled in the wake. The noise echoed in his ears; it was the loudest thing he had heard in days. Craig stared at his reflection in the mirror. He had gotten so much sleep yet somehow there were still bags under his eyes. He was growing a rather full beard but the problem was it looked like a homeless man’s beard. Craig got out the razor and the shaving cream and lathered his face. He took the razor and turned it on before pressing the blades to his face. He took his time so that he didn’t butcher his face and finally he was done. He washed the leftover shaving cream off his face and looked at his reflection. His beard was still there but it was much neater and much more presentable. He cleaned up the sink and started rooting around in the medicine cabinet. There must have been the right thing in there that he was looking for. So many bottles, so little of what he needed. He may have been depressed and not eating but he still knew that he needed to, you know, not die. Multi-vitamin, where are you? c m e
what am I wearing? am i nude?
am I crazy? what’s in my head?
how many words? 831
who’s my reader? jazlyn
who made this template? @ CLARKY ! DON'T FREAKING STEAL ![/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by jazlynoutrageous on Apr 14, 2010 22:20:08 GMT -5
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jazlyn couldn't read what was going on with Craig. He wasn't telling her much either. She was utterly lost and confused. She kinda felt alone right now. Jazlyn was feeling like he didn't want her there at all. Well, if he wanted that why didn't he just come out and say it. He was probably thinking that she had interrupted his time alone. And she knew from his face that he was highly depressed. He seemed to be on the breaking point as well. What could she do? Nothing what so ever and that was the thing she hated the most. Jazlyn wished she could be here for him. And that he'd be open with her and just let whatever he was feeling out. It'd be good for him rather than having it be kept inside til it boiled over. She would usually punch a punching bag and scream to get all of her frustration and anger out. Especially with her depression. There wasn't one fricken thing she could do. It was actually killing her and she was becoming depressed much more from being in this room with him. Maybe she shouldn't have came. But she had to see if he was infact alright. Which he wasn't but he didn't want any help. What a typical guy. No guy ever wants a hand or help with anything they have to deal with. Cause they think it makes them weak and vulnerable. Some cases it does but it doesn't really in the end. Jazlyn wasn't a fool nor stupid. Jazlyn didn't know what else to do. He wasn't talking to her or even making any movements. He just laid there on his bed like a corpse. Like he was already dead. She was gonna take herself out of this situation. Cause she didn't wanna be near him at this moment.
He still didn't answer her. Now she was getting mad. She felt like a bitch for getting mad over him being upset. Because it was stupid to get mad at someone over something they couldn't help feel. She just didn't like seeing him like this. Well, she was gonna leave him alone in this apartment cause that seems like what he wanted her to do. Why did she come in first place? He hadn't called her or anything. All she seemed to be doing was probably making things worse for him. Okay, so maybe she was stupid from time to time. But give the girl a break. She hadn't had a real boyfriend ever. What the hell did you expect from her? Relationships were a bitch. She realized that as of right now. She couldn't do anything for him so why be here any longer? Jazlyn had seen earlier he had rolled his eyes at her. She really felt like hitting him for doing that. He was another person right now because the Craig she knew wasn't like this to her. But hey life wasn't a bunch of roses either. Love wasn't like that either. She had seen her parents fight most of the time over stupid meaningless shit. She wasn't going to fight with Craig either. Just leave like he wanted her to.
Then all of a sudden before she had even had the chance to get up. He had stormed out of his bedroom and slammed the door so loud that it had hurt her ears. This really made her upset. So, as she heard him go into his bathroom. Jazlyn took out a plate she had in her purse with some cupcakes on it. She was glad that they hadn't had gotten all messy against the saran wrap. Jazlyn smiled lightly as she put them down on his bed and got up to go to his bedroom door. She turned the door knob and walked towards his apartments front door. She didn't even look back. Why would she? She just turned the door knob and walked out of his apartment. And she had closed his apartment door so lightly that he had probably not even heard her leaving. Jazlyn had to sit down so she sat across form his front door in the hallway. She needed to get it all together. Because she had to leave to go see her sister at the hospital. And that was one thing her sister wouldn't wanna see. Jazlyn knew that her sister would do something terrible if she were to walk into the room with her face covered in tears and have her eyes red. It was a good thing she had some water in her car. But for some reason her body wouldn't allow her to get up and go to her car to leave. She wanted to leave with her whole being but it was like her body was numb.
[/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by misssmartie93 on Apr 24, 2010 17:00:53 GMT -5
craig MARK emory I’M EVERYTHING YOU KNOWjust let me haunt, let me hauntlet me be your ghost
[/center] There were times when Craig knew he was horribly unlike the rest of humanity. In fact, those times pretty much happened every second of every day. He didn’t understand people as individuals and he didn’t understand people as a whole. But then there were those times, however rare and almost ridiculously unimaginable times, when he felt for a split second like he was just like anyone else. Alright, maybe not JUST like everyone else, but along the same line as them. He was on a whole different shape, rather than just line, during most days. But some of those few split seconds when he felt like he could be part of the real world were under two occasions. The first would be when he was taking care of his sister. He felt needed and useful, like someone out there actually wanted his personal help, rather than just reading one of his books and gaining a little bit of insight from it. The second time would be whenever he was with Jazlyn. He felt like he was a little bit more important, more wanted, more cared for. He felt completely different than he had ever felt before, and it was all thanks to Jazlyn.
That was the main reason why he was beating himself up so much right now. On the inside, metaphorically of course. If he was physically beating himself up not only would that look rather odd, but it would also raise even more questions about his sanity. Let’s face it, if there was another disorder or problem slapped on him, there’d be too many things to keep track of. Regardless, back to the main focus of this random train of thought of his, he was displeased with himself and hated himself for making her feel so bad. At least, he presumed she felt bad. He was never the most awesome and decoding human signals, especially when he was in this zombie state. But he felt terrible because he was making the one person that gave him a shred of normality in his life feel probably pretty terrible. This wasn’t who Craig was and he hated that he was giving Jazlyn the impression that he didn’t need her, because really, he DID need her. He needed her so badly in his life; he wanted her so badly. He knew he was doing a terrible job of showing it right about now.
Why did he have to be such an idiot? How was a man with such a high IQ being so completely unintelligent? He supposed that’s what mental disorders could do to you sometimes. He could have taken the medications like the doctors wanted him to, but he didn’t want to take them. They made him feel like an empty shell, like he was just going through the motions of life, like he was some mindless drone. As Craig looked at himself in the mirror he wanted to punch the living daylights out of himself for real. Of course, he knew that would do no good and probably just make him feel much worse than he already did. Instead, he took his multivitamin and closed the cabinet door, then walked out of the bathroom. He paused for a minute, not seeing Jazlyn there anymore, and noticed cupcakes on the bed. There were two plausible explanations: either Jazlyn had spontaneously combusted into a plate full of cupcakes, or she had left them there and left the apartment. Craig, being the logical man he was, went for the second option. He wandered out to the living room and still didn’t see her anywhere. He went to open the front door; perhaps she was still waiting for the elevator. He opened it to see a sight that he didn’t want to see. His heart just about broke when he saw her there with water on her face and red in her eyes. “Come here,” [/color] was all he could manage to say through his dry, dry throat. He held his arms open to her. All that could make him better was to have his shred of normality in his arms. “Please.”[/color][/size] what am I wearing? am i nude?
am I crazy? what’s in my head?
how many words? 688
who’s my reader? jazlyn
who made this template? @ CLARKY ! DON'T FREAKING STEAL ![/blockquote][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by jazlynoutrageous on Apr 28, 2010 17:20:59 GMT -5
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jazlyn didn't know if she could get up and get out of here. Her body wouldn't let her. She probably looked like crap right now with tears on her face and red eyes from crying so much. Jazlyn wondered why Craig had acted like this. Of course he hadn't told her if he had some problems which just made her more confused. She felt so alone even when she was just with Craig. He acted like she wasn't even there or that she wasn't anything to her. Which made her feel like complete shit. Jazlyn had lost her innocence to him and this is what she got. A guy who acted like she didn't even exist. It felt like someone had bitch slapped her across the face. But then again she didn't know what was going on inside of his head. Maybe something had happened. But he wasn't sharing or letting her know so how could you not think it was something bad like not wanting to be with her or even have her in his life. Men, they never knew what they wanted and when they had it they didn't want it in the end. She didn't understand men at all. And that was why she was single for all this time. It wasn't because she couldn't have a boyfriend. It was because she never fully understood men. They would always complain about how confusing women were but in fact they were just as confusing. That was what she thought. Well, most women thought as well. Jazlyn wanted to move and get the hell out of here but her body wouldn't let her. All she kept thinking about was her sister and how she was doing. Jazlyn decided to text her brother to see if he was at the hospital or what he was doing. She then got his text back saying that he was and their sister was alright, thank god. That's all she could think about and Craig. Why she couldn't go a second without thinking about Craig.
She heard him walking around in his apartment. Jazlyn knew that he was now out of the bathroom and was probably looking for her. If only she could get her ass up and out of there. Jazlyn felt like a fool really, a fool in love to say the least. If only Craig would share his life and everything with her. Then she'd understand him and what he was going through right now. Secrets weren't a good thing when it came to trying to make a relationship last. Jazlyn may have never had a boyfriend before but she at least knew that. Keeping secrets from someone that you loved or cared about wasn't a good option. If only she had gotten a manual on how to be a good girlfriend. Because now she felt like she had invaded Craig's space and didn't think she was helping him at all. All she was doing was making things worse. Which was the opposite of what she really wanted to do. Ugh, if only she would have just went to the hospital instead of coming here today. Jazlyn should have left Craig alone to deal with his issues or whatever he was having right now. Since she was sure he'd deal with this before and probably worse. But she didn't like being alone with these kind of problems because she had been there before and it only made things worse not having anyone around to help you or catch you. Jazlyn wanted to catch Craig and make things amazingly good for him. But that was something Craig would have to do on his own terms and time. Jazlyn could only lend a hand when he needed one or be the shoulder that he could cry or lean on. It kinda made her feel useless in a way but then again she couldn't fix everyone's life. That was something she had come to terms with right now. Not everyone was going to want her help and Craig had just shown her just that.
Jazlyn heard Craig's footsteps coming towards the front door. She had no time to wipe the fallen tears off of her face. Because as soon as she looked at the doorway, there he was. He had this hurt look on his face. Jazlyn listened to what he had said to her and she could tell that it hurt him to see her like this. Then she watched his arms open and she knew he wanted her to come to him. Jazlyn got up and walked over to his open arms and hugged him tightly. She knew why her body wouldn't let her live. It was because she loved this man so much that she couldn't leave him on bad terms nor leave him when he was a mess as well. A beautiful mess though, her beautiful mess. "I'm sorry babe. Now you have some cupcakes so hopefully that'll cheer you up some?"
[/b] Jazlyn looked down at her cell and saw that her brother had texted her again saying that their sister was going to be going home now. Wow, that was quick and she honestly didn't think it was such a great move on the doctors part. But she knew that her sister was in good hands. Jazlyn wanted to sit here and talk with Craig. Try to get what was going on with him. "Whenever you wanna talk about it, I'll be here."[/b] Jazlyn said as she stood tall up against her man and gave him a big kiss on his right cheek. [/size][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by misssmartie93 on May 1, 2010 11:49:17 GMT -5
craig MARK emoryI’M EVERYTHING YOU KNOWjust let me haunt, let me hauntlet me be your ghost
[/center] Craig felt like he owed Jazlyn some sort of an explanation. She deserved to know what the hell was going on with him especially when he scared her so badly. He felt terrible, he didn’t like shutting Jazlyn out of his life like he had, but he didn’t think she needed to know it right away. They were in a new relationship and he hadn’t wanted to say anything that would make her want to get out of it as soon as possible. He knew that was wrong and probably really selfish, but he couldn’t help himself. He was crazy for this girl and he had been scared of scaring her away. That was the last thing he ever wanted in the world. She was the one person besides his sister that he felt could understand, or at least try to understand, the sort of personal torment that went on every day inside of his mind. He knew none of his problems were really his fault. Had his mother not been a drunk, high, whore he might have had a chance to turn out normal. But instead he was gifted with all of these problems, none of which helped him in his life. They generally just made things worse, like right now with Jazlyn. He hated it, he hated his mother for being such a whore, and he hated that he couldn’t just wave a wand and fix everything so that Jazlyn could be with someone that actually deserved her. Craig felt like he didn’t deserve any of the love she had given him. He didn’t feel like he should have been the one to take her innocence, he didn’t feel like he even deserved to take her out on her first date. But he had and he hated himself for being such a mess. She deserved to be with someone normal, with someone that could take care of her instead of not even being able to take care of themselves. That’s what she deserved, and Craig couldn’t give her any of that.
If she walked out on him when he was done telling the truth, frankly he wouldn’t be surprised. He’d just have to go back to his life as normal- as normal as his life wasn’t- and continue on as if nothing had ever happened. That would be the only way he’d be able to get over her. He didn’t want to have to even think about that, but sometimes things happened, and he had to be realistic and think about all of the possibilities. Craig sighed heavily when she finally got off the ground. It hurt him to see her so sad and the worst part was he knew it was his fault. He had never meant to cause her any pain. Craig held onto her tightly but made sure not to squeeze her too hard. He just stood there, taking in the warmth of her slender body. He never wanted to let her go but he didn’t know if she would comply with that. He laughed slightly, finding it hard to do, hard to really even think about speaking after being so dead for so many days. “Yes, yes they will,” [/color] he said quietly, hoping that him speaking would at least cheer her up a little bit. He thought back to that first date, the dinner, the movie, the cupcakes. Craig felt a sudden pain in his chest and knew it was guilt. She had been so perfect to him and yet here he stood, so completely faulty and imperfect. She really did deserve so much more. He smiled, or at least tried to, and kiss her forehead gently. He pulled her back into the apartment and softly shut the door behind her. He ran a hand through his hair in lost frustration and didn’t really know how to begin. He didn’t know how she would take it. There was nothing in him that told him she would take it well. Why would she? She might accept it and try to be nice, but he knew there would be a part of her that would regret it all. He walked over to the window and folded his arms across his chest. He looked out for a moment before going over to the couch and sitting down. He waited for her to join him before looking over at him. “Jazlyn…”[/color] he said her name quietly, not even knowing where to begin. “I’ve been keeping something from you and I feel like an idiot for it. I should have told you, I never should have let you believe I was something I’m not,”[/color] he said, not even able to look at her. All he could really do was stare hopelessly off into space. “I have all of these…problems. I’m not normal, Jazlyn. I’m not…healthy…to be around. I’m not the kind of person that goes into a relationship and actually expects it to last. That just doesn’t happen,”[/color] he said and was frustrated with himself. He was so bad at explaining things and he wanted to tell her everything. Maybe it was just best to say it all. “I’m a genius. I’m not kidding you. I’m an outright genius, as defined by a bundle of intelligence tests,”[/color] he said, beginning with the only good thing about him. “But I also suffer from ADD, depression, anxiety disorders, and OCD.”[/color] There, now it was out. “I’m not…normal, Jazlyn,”[/color] he repeatedly quietly. “My mother was just…she was terrible. She drank, she smoked, she did drugs, she slept with everyone. That’s why I’m the way I am. It’s a bloody miracle I’m not more damaged from all the substances she took while she was pregnant. My sister is by all technicalities mentally challenged, but she always hides it really well from people. She’s normal if you just talk to her, but she’s incapable of learning anything. I took care of her in all the fosters homes because no one else would. They would beat us and molest us and they didn’t care,”[/color] he said. He hated himself, he hated his past, and the most of all, he hated having to admit how messed up he was, how messed up his family was, to Jazlyn. But she deserved to know.[/size] what am I wearing? am i nude?
am I crazy? what’s in my head?
how many words? 1051
who’s my reader? jazlyn
who made this template? @ CLARKY ! DON'T FREAKING STEAL ![/blockquote][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by jazlynoutrageous on May 12, 2010 10:59:09 GMT -5
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jazlyn knew that he was hiding something from her. Like a dark big secret. But now she knew he was going to let her in and tell her what was wrong with him. She had this feeling for a while. Actually ever since they had first met. She just never asked nor felt it was right to ask. If Craig really wanted to let her know he would on his own time. So, she wasn't pushing to know what that secret was. Jazlyn listened to him laugh which made her smile. It had been such a long few days since she had heard that laugh of his. When he had held onto her tightly it made her feel all warm inside and okay with what had happened earlier. His hugs would always be her favorite kind of hugs, period. Of course her cupcakes would cheer her man up. He loved her cupcakes and it made her remember the first night she had stayed over and lost her innocence to him. She just wished he had been more open with her in the beginning. Even though she hadn't told him the whole story about what she had been dealing with since her parents had passed away. Jazlyn was just as guarded as Craig was. "Good, I'm glad they will."
[/b] Craig then kissed her forehead and it felt like the whole world around them was melting. Then he had pulled her back into his apartment and shut his front door behind her. Craig looked lost and like he was trying to tell her something big and didn't know how to come out with it. He then walked over to his window and then sat down on the couch. Jazlyn went and sat next to him. Here it was going to come and she was prepared. Well, she hoped she was. Craig didn't even look at her when he was telling her all of this. But she understood why he couldn't. He didn't want to see her reaction if it was something terrible. He had finally stopped telling her what a mess he was and how he wasn't normal. Jazyln grabbed his hand and decided to make some kind of comment to what he had just told her. "Craig... No one is perfect. We all have faults and terrible pasts. I know you're a genius and I believe you one hundred percent. I'm so sorry that you and your sister had to deal with a mother like that. I really am but look at it this way. You both made it out. Yeah, you may have some problems and things that aren't easy to deal with. I'm not gonna judge nor walk out on you because you aren't normal or have some disorders. I fell in love with you and yeah I didn't know you had all of that baggage but I'm carrying it for you. I may have not been through the same situation your sister or you had but I know where you are coming from.[/b] She let herself take a breath for a moment before continuing on. She kissed his hand lightly before talking again. "Your never going to be alone, no matter what. I'm always going to be here for you even if we fight or go a few days without talking. And if you don't want my help with something that's going on then that's okay. I know what it's like to feel like a outcast or not normal as you call yourself. But a lot of people have your disorders as well babe. Your not so alone as you think you are. I love you. I honestly do."[/b] Jazlyn said as she gripped his hand a little tighter. She wanted to tell him how messed up she was too. But she didn't have the heart to do it right now. Maybe in a few days when things were okay and he wasn't so upset. Jazlyn was just worried about him and his sister right now. Well, of course she was also worried about her own sister and brother as well but they would be okay. This wasn't the first time this had happened to her sister and it probably wasn't going to be the last time neither. "If you want space then I'll kindly back off when you need alone time. I'll understand. I know you're probably thinking that you don't deserve me. But I think you do, Craig. You may be a terrible mess but who the hell isn't these days? I'm just as bad of a mess as you are. We can be mess's together."[/b] Jazlyn said to him as she kissed his cheek and looked into his eyes. [/size][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by misssmartie93 on May 15, 2010 17:06:28 GMT -5
craig MARK emoryI’M EVERYTHING YOU KNOWjust let me haunt, let me hauntlet me be your ghost
[/center] Craig hated having to explain all of this to her. He had done it to very few people in the past, and the only time it ended well was with his adoptive parents and when Bessie found out about the depression and other issues. Bessie loved him no matter what and he had raised and protected her for her entire life. He in no way had worried whether or not she would understand. They both had the same mother and they both knew that all of their problems stemmed from the substances she took when they were pregnant with them. Esmerelda was flawed herself at the hands of their mother and they knew before they knew about Craig’s problems. Those didn’t start developing until he was a little bit older. He knew he had always been smart, but when he was younger he didn’t know to what extent. He supposed he was too busy being a six year old father to his little sister to even worry about that. It was a hard life for them growing up. At four years old he learned how to change a diaper because Bessie would be left screaming in a dirty diaper for hours while they mother was passed out on the couch or out somewhere. He learned to cook so that he and Bessie could eat, he learned how to clean, how to go to the store and buy things, where to not go in the bad parts of whatever town they were in.
His adoptive parents were generally accepting of his problems, as well as Esmerelda’s problems. Those weren’t the sort of things you hid from people that were legally going to be your parents. They knew about everything before the adoption process began and had no problem taking in two completely shattered children. For them, he knew it was easier to raise Esmerelda. Not to say that it was a complete walk in the park for them, but he knew it was easier than what they had to go through with him. He did end up leaving when he was eighteen to spare them from what he thought was a burden. Of course he still talks to them all the time as if they were his biological parents and they always get together on holidays, but something was a bit off about them. They were just too perfect. Craig didn’t want perfection, he wanted normal. But for Bessie, he knew that perfection was what she needed and he was beyond glad that those two people were taking care of her now. Yet at the same time, even with the weight lifted off his shoulders, he still couldn’t even take care of himself. Somehow he didn’t know how that worked out but he wanted to punch himself in the face for it. Now all that was left was to find out Jazlyn’s reaction, which honestly he was a bit scared to find out. He kind of had a feeling she would react the way she did and he was thankful for it, but there had been that voice screaming at him that she’d never speak to him again. At least that wasn’t the case. Craig scratched his cheek and blankly looked at the coffee table. “I suppose,” [/color] he said, though he didn’t know how he turned out good. Honestly he didn’t think he did. “We got adopted at one point. Esmerelda still lives with them, but I moved out when I was eighteen. Still talk to them and everything, but I never felt right there. It was like they wanted this perfect family but I just didn’t fit in with the picture. But Bessie is happy and they’re happy,”[/color] he said with a light shrug. He was glad she was happy. Though she was right and he knew other people were suffering the same things as he was, it usually wasn’t in such a drastic combination. Usually they only had one, maybe two of those problems. He was smart enough to know that most people didn’t have all of them packed together as one. Craig held her hand and didn’t want to let go. He still didn’t think she was real. She COULDN’T be real. He just didn’t think it was possible. He was still waiting to wake up from this dream. Craig thought for awhile and honestly didn’t have much to say. He wasn’t used to human interaction and he was never the best boyfriend. He had said all he had wanted to say and now was somewhat at a loss for words. “Won’t that end up rather messy?”[/color] he asked, pretending to be seriously concerned about the messiness of it all. He knew he was out of his cycle now. He just wanted to forget about it. That always happened after a round of depression, and that was why at one point he was concerned that he was actually bipolar. Thankfully he wasn’t, but knowing him, it could have happened. “People will just slip and fall whenever they come near us,”[/color] he stated, as if they were melting puddles of goo. Luckily that wasn’t possible. Then he bit his lip and frowned slightly. He forgot to tell her a couple other little details. “Right, uhm, Jazlyn? There was something else that I’ve been keeping, just because I’ve had bad experiences in the past with people using me for it. In addition to the genius thing, I’m kind of…I don’t know…rich. I’ve written a lot of books under an alias and they’ve generated quite a profit. I’ll probably get more with the next one I publish since I almost have my doctorate and when you slap Dr. on a book people tend to accept your credibility more,”[/color] he said somewhat awkwardly. Then again, what in his life WASN’t awkward?[/size] what am I wearing? am i nude?
am I crazy? what’s in my head?
how many words? 971
who’s my reader? jazlyn
who made this template? @ CLARKY ! DON'T FREAKING STEAL ![/blockquote][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by jazlynoutrageous on May 24, 2010 9:25:13 GMT -5
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jazlyn was glad that he had finally opened up to her. He probably thought she was mad for even thinking let alone staying with his crazy ass but the fact was that she was deeply in love with him. No one should throw love away because of some hiccup or some minor thing coming up. Sure, it wasn't that minor or a hiccup. It was something serious but Jazlyn wasn't going to leave the love of her life because he had a lot of problems. She'd learn to deal and live with them just for him. Sure, they would probably fight or have more problems a lot more but she'd never let him go, never! How could you simply just walk out of someones life when they had the world against them? Jazlyn didn't want to abandon Craig nor leave him. People would probably think she was beyond crazy for staying with someone somewhat unstable. Well, sometimes he could be like he was today. But she didn't care. His problems didn't change the way she felt about him. She didn't want to be another person to just up and leave him behind. Jazlyn would stand right by her mans side and hold his hand through everything that they would come across. No matter how hard or unbearable it would get, she'd be right there with him. He was her everything and more. Someday he'd understand why she stayed with his crazy butt.
She didn't know exactly what he was going through or what he had been through for his whole entire life so far but she would only try to help him whenever he needed her help or wanted it. Even if he didn't want it, she'd was going to push her help on him. No matter how much he'd fight it and her, she'd be there nonetheless. Jazlyn took a big breath in and out. Craig was probably scared of actually having someone who cared a great deal about him other than his sister. Jazlyn did lose her virginity to this man. And she wasn't going to give up on him so easily like he thought she would. She never gave up easily on anyone or anything for that matter. Craig had saved her from herself really. "Well, I'm glad your sister and they are happy. Now we just got to get you happy. Because I don't like seeing my babes all sad and mopey."
[/b] Sure, she had never had to deal with what Craig had to when he was a young child but Jazlyn was here for him now. He was a devoted and loving brother. She admired that in Craig, a great deal. Her brother was the same way but he was younger. Jazlyn just didn't want Craig to think he was still alone because he wasn't. Craig wasn't going to be alone ever again well unless something happened between the both of them. Even still if that did happen, Jazlyn would be there for him as a great friend. He held her hand and it felt great to have the man you love hold your hand tightly. It was quiet while she watched her boyfriend and she was sure that he was thinking that she wasn't real and this wasn't really happening. Jazlyn just smiled at Craig and gave him a big kiss. "It will get messy but it'll be our mess babes."[/b] That was the best way she could put it. She meant it too. She laughed at his next comment. They were utterly and totally perfect for one another. She'd be lost without him. And he would be lost without her as well. "I feel bad for those people that do fall when they come near us. We'll just have to help them up and put some band aids on their boo boos if they get any."[/b] Jazlyn was a dork and she knew Craig loved that about her. Which made her happy all around, inside and out. "Babes, I'm not with you for your money. I'd be with you even if you were some bum on the street. You've hooked me, line and sinker. And I ain't going no where."[/b] It was true though, he had hooked her. Money wasn't important to her really, never was. Her parents had left a great big bank account of money for her and her siblings behind. Also, Jazlyn and her siblings worked too. So, they had extra money when they needed it. But she was glad that Craig had told her that even though it didn't really matter to her. Money was just green paper that you could easily burn. That's all it was to her. [/size][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by misssmartie93 on May 30, 2010 16:02:16 GMT -5
CRAIG MARK EMORYI’M EVERYTHING YOU KNOWJUST LET ME HAUNT, LET ME HAUNTLET ME BE YOUR GHOST
[/center] Quite Frankly Craig didn’t even know what he was supposed to think anymore. Whenever he was around Jazlyn his mind just shut down. She made life so hard and yet so easy for him. Maybe this was what normal people felt like. Maybe normal people just didn’t think and they just let their lives progress at the hands of Fate. The only problem was, Craig didn’t exactly believe in Fate. He did believe things happened for a reason, but he didn’t believe that everyone had their future laid out in front of them. He liked to believe that you could make your own future if you tried hard enough and if you cared enough. What was life if you were just following a road all the time? He liked to take detours and decide things for himself, and he’d be damned if he didn’t take the detour that lead him straight to the amazing girl he was with. He didn’t know what he would be doing right now if Jazlyn wasn’t in his life. He’d probably be going about his life as usual, writing, pointing out flaws in humanity, making money, finishing his degree, talking to his sister. That would just continue with a few minor changes, but otherwise his life would have been rather static. He liked that things were different now and he liked that he actually had a girlfriend he was crazy for. Sure, he had had a few girlfriends in the past, but none like Jazlyn.
And he was so glad that she was so supportive. He had told a few other people the things in his life- and not even all of them- and they just couldn’t handle it. They wanted the perfect life and they wanted the perfect man to create a perfect family and a perfect home with. Unfortunately, Craig was not that guy. He was not perfect, a life with him wouldn’t be perfect, and he didn’t even know if he wanted kids. He would feel bad bringing a child into the world knowing there was a chance that they could be born with the same problems he had. Sure, the probability wasn’t the greatest, but there was always still that chance and he knew how bad he dealt with everything. He didn’t want someone innocent being burdened with those things when he could prevent it. Craig smiled and tried out a laugh. “How are you going to make me happy then?” [/color] he asked with a curious smile. “The cupcakes, those were a good start, by the way,”[/color] he said. “I will most definitely be devouring those later.”[/color] Devouring was actually the perfect word in this situation. The man hadn’t eaten in days so now he was pretty much going to eat anything he could. He’d eat a horse if he had to. But that was creepy and rather nasty, so he’d stick to the cupcakes instead. The cupcakes would probably taste a whole hell of a lot better than anything he felt like making. He was a good enough cook, sure, but he was in a rush and hungry things didn’t always turn out the way he would have liked them to turn out. He was fairly certain that her kisses could solve any problem in the world. They were definitely making him rather happy right now. “Oh, well then, I suppose that’s okay. But you can clean it up,”[/color] he teased. Naw, he’d probably be the one cleaning them up when they exploded from awesomeness. He didn’t mind and he actually preferred it since he was OCD and had to have things done just right a lot of the times. Though cleaning up his own blood and guts was a rather unappealing idea, but at least he could make sure they went back in the right places. “Okay, that could work. I have some Scooby-Doo bandaids in the medicine cabinet. You can put them in your purse or something and then we’ll always be prepared for those people that can’t walk properly through our mess,”[/color] he said. Psh, like hell he was giving up his Scooby-Doo bandaids for some stranger. Maybe if they were some other type he would, but not his favourite cartoon he wouldn’t. “Though to be honest I’m glad I’m not some bum on the street. It’s rather dirty on the street and there’s no privacy unless I had a really big box, but even so when it rained it’s just get all wet and mushy,”[/color] he said. And boy, did it rain a lot in Forks. He’d constantly be sleeping with the worms. Craig gently brushed away the loose strands of her from her face and held her check softly. He brushed his thumb across her soft skin and smiled to himself. “Do you want to rescue me from this apartment? I’m sure the sunlight would do me some good,”[/color] he said, feeling the urge to go out into the world for once.[/size][/blockquote] any clothes? am i nude?
am I crazy? what’s in my head?
any words? 971
reading this? jazlyn
template maker? @ CLARKY ! DON'T FREAKING STEAL ![/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by jazlynoutrageous on Jun 5, 2010 0:27:51 GMT -5
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jazlyn just smiled at the man she loved. Sure, she knew it was probably going to get way worse with the two of them. But she'd still love Craig, no matter what. It may seem a little stupid because most people wouldn't want to be with someone with these kind of issues let alone love them. She wasn't that kind of person though. Jazlyn took Craig for himself. She couldn't dream of being with anyone else. That was how she felt. True, she hadn't ever been with someone like this but this was all something new to her. Before Craig she was alone and didn't know how love felt. Now she did and it was all thanks to him. He couldn't believe that she wanted to still be with him but she wasn't one to give up so easily. Jazlyn was a fighter in everything in her life and she didn't want to let him go ever. But she'd understand if something did go happen and they did break up. Jazlyn wouldn't hate Craig. She'd take it and just move on. After all that was all someone could do after a break up. Or you'd be some crazy ass person. She'd rather not let herself go that route if she could help it. Guys like him never happened to her before. She was still learning about everything with relationships, love, sex, and most of all, Craig. It sometimes made her confused but she'd get it all settled after a while and realize things. This relationship wasn't going to be easy. It was the first one for her and she didn't know where it was heading but she hoped towards something good.
Craig acted like she was perfect. Which in a way kind of annoyed Jazlyn but she wasn't going to get mad over something silly. He just thought she was in his eyes. Nothing wrong with that but she was far from it. Perfection wasn't everything it was cracked up to be. No one really possessives it and if someone did, she didn't know them nor wanted to. Jazlyn liked thinking that everyone was beautifully flawed and that was what made them beautiful to her. She didn't think anyone was ugly in the world but then again she hadn't met everyone that lived on earth. But even the not so good looking had something beautiful about them. Looks weren't everything. Jazlyn listened to Craig laugh. Which made her smile big. She loved his laugh but loved his smile even more. "Hmmm, that's a hard one babe. Maybe some kisses and me tackling you to the floor? I think the tackling would be fun and well I know you'd smile. Oh, I thought they would be. I'm glad they are. Ha, I knew you would. Good, that's why I baked them for you to devour."
[/b] She knew that he hadn't eaten in day so he was probably really hungry. Okay, really hungry was an understatement and she knew that. He could probably eat a horse or a hippo. But a hippo wouldn't be all that appetizing. At least to Jazlyn it didn't sound it. "You know, I could cook you something like mealish. I mean if you want me to babe? Up to you."[/b] Jazlyn asked him. Oh, I see I'm the mess cleaner now?! Thanks babe but I'll clean it up for you."[/b] She knew he was kidding but she'd definitely clean up any mess for him. Even though he did have OCD. But she did somewhat as well. Just not as bad as he did. She laughed at his Scooby Doo band aid comment. He was so damn cute. Jazlyn wasn't a fighter like physically but if any girl tried to take him away from her. Let's just say you wouldn't want to be that girl. Because she'd kick your butt down the street and around the corner. "Aw, how cute babe. Well, wouldn't you rather use some plain jane band aids rather than using your Scooby Doo ones? I mean I'd never want to waste my cute band aids on some strangers."[/b] She replied with a smirk. Jazlyn knew that he'd probably never give them to some stranger that needed them. She'd rather use the plain kind then a character kind. Hell, Scooby Doo was adorable. Most adults wouldn't want that kind of bandaid on them anyways. Some people got embarrassed easily. Jazlyn wasn't one of those people though. "Ha, true babes. You'd go crazy from having to live on a dirty street and in a box that would get soggy easily. I would too, I'll have to admit."[/b] Craig had brushed a few stray strands of her hair from her face. She loved it when he did that. Whenever he touched her, she felt the spark of electricity go through her. Not the hurting kind but the light and nice kind of spark. "Of course I do babes. Sure, we can do that and I know the sun will do some good for you."[/b] Jazlyn said as she grabbed his hand and started walking them towards his front door of his apartment. [/size][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by misssmartie93 on Jun 19, 2010 14:39:59 GMT -5
CRAIG MARK EMORYI’M EVERYTHING YOU KNOWJUST LET ME HAUNT, LET ME HAUNTLET ME BE YOUR GHOST
[/center] Craig was glad he managed to get out of bed today. Okay, so the first bit of getting out of bed hadn’t been the greatest. He hated seeing Jazlyn upset and he hated having to explain what the fudge was wrong with him. He was terrified that she wouldn’t want to be with him knowing that he was so screwed up. He wouldn’t be able to handle it now if she decided she didn’t want to be in the relationship with him. He would have been able to handle it before he told her everything. He had been in relationships before where it didn’t work out before they even got to that potential stage where Craig might have had to tell the girl the problems and it made it easier to end the relationship before she knew anything personal about him. But now? Now Jazlyn knew everything and he felt ridiculously vulnerable. He hated that feeling especially because he was supposed to be the rock of the family. He was the one that was supposed to be strong and take care of his sister, not the other way around. Right now it seemed like Esmerelda was the level headed one and he was the one that needed to be picked up off the ground all the time. As long as Jazlyn could accept him for what he was he’d be happy. He knew that was probably asking a lot of her but he couldn’t help it. He just had to be around her, even if it wasn’t all the time, and he couldn’t think about her being with some other guy. That actually made him really jealous to even think about it. He liked her, he liked her a freaking lot, and he wanted this to work out for once.
Craig sighed and didn’t really know what to do with himself. It’d be so much easier for them both if he was just normal. She’d have the man she deserved and he’d be, well, freaking normal. “I think that’s a good start,” [/color] he grinned and kissed her like she had suggested. Her lips were so soft and feminine. He never could get enough of them. “But I think that’s definitely just a start,”[/color] he said and couldn’t help but smile slightly. She was way too beautiful to just kiss a little bit and be tackled by. No, he could spend decades just being around her and loving every inch of her gorgeous body. That was something he knew for certain. “I can devour them and then devour you. How does that sound?”[/color] he asked. He just needed to forget how pathetic he had been the past few days. He needed to tell himself that this wouldn’t happen again- even though it probably would- and he needed to tell himself that things were going to be amazing now that Jazlyn was in his life. That part he didn’t doubt for a second. Craig shrugged and wrapped his arms lazily around her waist. It was like he had all the time in the world with her, even though she probably had things to do in her life and he should probably finish his thesis. But his thesis could wait and he’d be done with that soon enough anyways. Then he’d get his doctorate, get another book published, and wouldn’t have to worry about anything for awhile. “Maybe, if you want,”[/color] he shrugged. “Or we could go out. My treat. We could find a fancy restaurant in Port Angeles and get all dressed up.”[/color] He liked that idea and hoped she did to. Frankly after the scare he probably put her through she deserved to feel as special as she was to him. Craig laughed and nodded. “Okay, I’m cool with that,”[/color] he joked. In reality he’d probably be the one that would clean up any mess that they made because he hated when things were messy. Certain things were allowed to be messy, like his bedroom, but other things were not allowed to be messy. The washroom was one thing where he hated to have things out of place. Everything had their little home and if they were missing from their little home he would get very distressed. “Yeah, I think so. Maybe I’ll have to go out and get some plain ones then. I wouldn’t want to waste my awesome ones on a stranger. Though if I didn’t have any plain ones on me and they REALLY needed them, I suppose I could sacrifice a band aid or two, no matter how much it killed me inside,”[/color] he said and pretended to sigh dramatically. But for serious, his Scooby Doo band aids were the shit man. He didn’t care that he was a grown ass man of twenty-one, he freaking loved Scooby Doo. He was just of that generation, he supposed. He still loved Saturday morning cartoons and gladly put his thesis on hold every morning to watch them. “Exactly. At least we’ll never have to worry about that. I’ll always make sure you have a roof over your head, even if we’re not together,”[/color] he said and kissed her forehead. Not that he was planning on letting her go, hell no, he was just saying that he’d always make sure she was comfortable. He took care of the people he loved; he didn’t let them suffer if he could do something about it. When Craig was re-introduced to the sunlight it was almost like he could feel his vitamin D levels spiking. That was good. It was worse in the winter when he didn’t get as much vitamin D. That was part of the reason the suicide rate was higher in the winter; less sunlight. “Do you wanna go to the park?”[/color] he asked with a little grin as wrapped an arm around her waist as they walked. He thought it was about time they goofed off like the mature adults they were.[/size][/blockquote] any clothes? am i nude?
am I crazy? what’s in my head?
any words? 995
reading this? jazlyn <3
template maker? @ CLARKY ! DON'T FREAKING STEAL ![/blockquote] |
|
