Aleria Ankh MD

[carlee anne wilkinson]

EDIT: by MD do you mean 'not done?' if so then disregard parts of what i said/use what i said to make it better. xD

p e n d i n g!

your personality needs to be a good two to three paragraphs, each with 8-12 sentences. the easiest way to do this is to expand what you've already said. go into depth with it. your rp sample is long enough, and seems good. just make sure to break up your paragraphs with an extra space between them

like this.

i'd also like you to use our application, it has changed. your history paragraphs could probably be merged, and again should be about 8-12 sentences each. sorry to be a bother, but if you could fix that stuff i'd be happy to accept ya!

[aleriaankh]

I hope that this is better than the previous but if there is anything else wriong please do tell me so I can fix it !

[carlee anne wilkinson]

you need to use this application format. just copy what's in the code box. don't post another long reply here for it, just modify your first post. also, if you could please write out a character appearance and read the rules for the password. your rp paragraphs are still not spaced out like everything else is, but yes your history is better and your personality is as well.

[aleriaankh]

This is my final copy but I know I've done something wrong so if there is tell me.

[ashlyn]

Okay, this is a bit of a mess. Not the application itself, just what's been going on in this thread. You need to post your application the format we have given you. You posted the application template, but then you posted your application in another post in your own template. What you need to do is fill out the application form using the one we have given you. If you need an example, check out any of more recent accepted application. Once you have that done, let us know, and we'll gladly take another look at it ^_^

[aleriaankh]

Aleria Grevinna Ankh

the basics

name:

Aleria Grevinna Ankh

nicknames:

Alee or Ria(Loves to go by Ria)

gender:

female

age:

looks 16, but is really 141

member group:

vampire

sub-category:

vegetarian

sexual orienation:

straight

appearance:

Aleria has bright red striped, dark chocolate, thick hair in a stiff ponytail. Sometiems she wears it down as long hair, but ponytails are her favourite hairstyle. She dies it red, quite often but not all the tiem, as red is her favourite colour and she likes blood so she puts it's colour in her hair. Her eye's are golden brown and from a distance they sometimes seem that way. They are shaped like a cats and stare a lot. Her eyes are surrounded by thick, short eyelashes. Her face is oval and slightly pinkish. Her lips are a normal, natural pink and she hates putting anything on them. Her eyebrows are curved and a shade darker than her hair, though most people cannot tell that. She loves to wear her favourite red, long sleeved top all the time with her white coton top underneah to stop it rubbing. Distressed black jeans and high heeled black boots with a long flowing black jumper or jacket is her outfit complete. On her wrists are wrist covers and a thick ruby nestles snugly near her heart. She hates her deathly pale complexion so puts a lot of blusher on her face. She highlights her eyes with eyeliner and puts mascara on her lashes to make them longer.

the history

history:

Aleria Grevinna Ankh was born on the 4th of September, 1853, with the name (of which she can't remember) of Beatrice Patel. She was born with a twin brother, named Perun, and they were inseprable. Unfortunately, there mother died at birth, so they were put in the care of there father, a general in the army. There father was a very strict man and would often hit his children for misbehaving with his belt. In the evenings, when he came home, he would be drunk on whisky and be in a filthy mood. He would grab his daughter, put Perun on a chair, and wack her hard around the face, telling Perun that this is what you do to the girls when you are married. Eventually, there monster of a father died when they were 10, and the twins were sent to Barnado's. If you were ever looking for either of them you would find them in the other's company. The twins loved the library and the school room so they would usaully be in either one.

Aleria grew up to be a fine, young, beautiful, intelligent woman. She had her hopes being set on a teaching career, but their were no jobs around, so she became a maid for three months. When she heard Perun was becoming a soldior, she stopped eating and drinking. She grew so ill that she at once, retired to he bed for a month. When she was fit and healthy again, she became a nun. Aleria was welcomed in and was a devout christian. Every Sunday, however, another suitor would wolf whistle or cheer. One of these suitors was a vampire named Crnobog. He asked her to run away with him, yet she refused and he was banned from the church.

One evening a message came, saying that Perun had caught cholera and he and his boday had dissapeared. In fury, shock and distraught, she flew onto the streets of London. She sobbed and screamed for most of the night and spent another time by the river. A drunken Crnobog found her and pushed her in the cholera river. He dunked her under and then dragged her on land and drunk most of her blood before being scared off. She was seen by many, but many walked on by. Aleria fitted and frothed at the mouth in the pain and agony of having to fight with barely any blood. When she was about to subdue, she saw her brother's angel (when he was really a vampire) and he gave her venom. When she woke, he told her what they were and told her they were leaving for America as too many people knew them in London. They are in America today.

When Perun and Aleria came to New York City in America, they were welcomed by Perun's nurse and her coven family. Zofie, Herkus and Ashskehn were the leaders of the group, but only Ashskehn had a gift(she could make statues come alive for a short time). Elodia, who was the youngest before Perun and Aleria, had a power too. She could control a black shapeless thing to hide them for a time if neccesary. They stayed in New York City for three weeks before moving to Vancouver.

Aleria and her new found coven took tramps off the street and drank there blood for a time, until they heard about a coven who were drinking animal blood. They decided that they would drink animal blood. This came as a big shock for Aleria as all she'd ever done was drink human blood. She tried but often drank humans blood as a treat.

They stayed in the forests of Vancouver for about 100 years, deciding it was safe, secure and plentiful. After about 30 years of this time, Aleria stopped drinking human blood at all. Her eyes turned there golden ochere colour.
After these years, the coven moved to Alaska. It was peaceful and happy. They stayed for about 24 years, changing there appearance so that they could go to the school for a few years. As it was time to move on they briefly met a coven which the Cullens had stayed with, who told them that the Cullens were in a tiny town called Forks and had been there for a few years. They moved to Forks to meet the Cullens and have been there since then.

family:

mother, Maria Patel: Died at 23
father, Leopold Patel:Died at 33

Coven Family:
adopted mother, Zofie—looks 46, but is really, 1,980
adopted father, Herkus—looks 47, but is really 379
Ashskehn, adopted aunt—looks 23, but is really 1,973
Drogo, Adopted Brother-looks 17, but is really 383
Tatiana, Adopted sister-looks 19, but is really 289
Marko, Adopted Brother-looks 21, but is really 276
Elodia, Adopted Sister-looks 20, but is really 255
Perun, Twin Brother-looks 16, but is really 141

the personality

personality:

Aleria is a strong, free willed outgoing person. She is a little shy, but gets past that very quickly. She is bonded to her coven strongly and is very loyal to them and all her friends. She is quite popular but has a close knit of friends, humans and vampires alike. Sometimes she has a problem with the other races, human and werewolf, and even her own but tries to get past that for family's sake. She likes to be free willed as when she was younger, it was her father who controlled her, and she likes to be in control.

Aleria is very proud and has a good sense of honour. She found that when she was little, her honour was broken by her father when he beat her and forced her to hide from him. This is why she fights of honour; she doesn't want it broken again. She is very proud and will not let anyone bring her down. If people hurt her she usaully just ignores but sometimes kills. This has happened 14 times over the past 41 years. She may be strong willed, but blood is a hard thing to control and she never knows if she might hurt someone. She tries but it dooesn't always work

strengths:

• Strong Will
  
• Loyal
  
• Good Friend
  
• Tries Hard
  
• Outgoing

weaknesses:

• Honour gets her in trouble
  
• Trusts to quickly or slowly
  
• Fierce Temper
  
• Loves to be in Control
  
• Troublemaker

likes:

• Hunting
  
• Music
  
• Reading
  
• Learning
  
• Friends

dislikes:

• Werewolves(some of the time)
  
• People who hurt her family
  
• Lions Blood
  
• People getting in the way
  
• People hurting her personal life

the rper

alias:

Rayanne Green

experience:

about a week

secret word:

Lion

writing sample:

"I said beat it," Francesca sneered. Aleria stayed put, continuing to read Les Misarables. Francesca had come in just a few minutes ago with her club, trying to get her too move. Now, only she was there. Her blood smelt heavenly, but Aleria knew that if she killed Francesca her family's life would be ruined. Maybe a nibble... no, she couldn't.

"Can you hear me, or are you deaf? BEAT IT, or you wish you would have," Francesca threatened, justting out her chin. Aleria put in her bookmark and slid the book in her rucksack. She turned to face Francesca and leaned back. In her mind she was giggling. What could this human girl do to a vampire?

"What can you do to hurt me?" Aleria tempted. Francesca thought hard, and then remembered somehing she'd seen a few days ago in the hall.

"I'll tell Drogo about you and Tommy Sinster. You kissed him," Francesc flicked her golden hair back, almost saying to Aleria that she had won this battle. Aleria shook her head back and forth with a smile on her face.

"He knows that Tommy kissed me. However ,the school doesn't know that you and brace boy are going out. It might just sl..."Aleria began before getting punched in the face. Francesca was on the floor, her wrists pinned beside her. In that moment, Francesca was having her blood drawn out by a savage beast that couldn't be controlled. A savage beast that had been locked away for 70 years. Aleria had unlocked someting inside her. Something powerful, and mighty and terrifying. S thing that controlled her hands, her teeth, her actions. But then it was put back in it's cage as Francesca stopped moving. Blood dripped down her mouth. Aleria began to cry. She'd ruined it for her family. Ruined everything. The hope of having a normal life. Of being like the Cullens.

"Ria, what have you done?" Perun asked from he door, and the words swirled round in her jumbled and tired and distraught head.

[ashlyn]

Can you please put a picture of your character, hun? Up at the top. As well, fill in where it says "first middle last" name. Please lengthen her appearance. In your history you keep writing "there" when you should be using "their". You have the history before she was a vampire but what about afterwards? There is 125 extra years that you left completely blank. Please write something more about her life as a vampire. Did she struggle when she became a vampire? Was it hard for her to be a vegetarian vampire? Why and when did she decide to become a vegetarian vampire? Has she killed humans? Why is she in Forks? Hopefully those questions will help you to extend your history =) As well, it is a little hard to believe that her entire family are vampires. As well, the ages don't match up. If she's been a vampire for 125 years, how is her mother 1980 years old? Female vampires cannot have children. As well, please put in the relationship to all of those people listed under family. As well, please lengthen the RP sample. Once you've fixed this stuff up, let us know, and we'll gladly take another look at it ^_^

[aleriaankh]

How do you put in a picture because I have a great one, just can't put it in.

[carlee anne wilkinson]

upload it to tinypic and copy the 'direct link' then paste it between tags

[aleriaankh]

I think I've done it, just not sure why the piture won't come up when I did what you said.

[carlee anne wilkinson]

i fixed it. you have to take the *s out. no biggie

[ashlyn]

Accepted, but please watch for there/their. You didn't fix that in the app. There is used in something like: "I went over there to see the puppy." Their is used in something like this: "Their father was a general in the army." Also, remember that when RPing, you can't control the other character. I understand it's a bit different for RP samples though. Just remember, no god-modding! Have fun on the site! =)