you can't be too careful anymore

[shilo]

i'll make my own way

it's a circle, a mean cycle

A twenty-one year old beautiful red head. That was what most people saw when they looked at Shio. They didn’t see a girl that stepped out of line. They didn’t see someone who worked two part time jobs and took a full time schedule at college. They probably saw the college part, but not the jobs. They didn’t see a girl who was forced away from her boyfriend to move to the small, secluded town of forks. Most importantly, the thing people did not see was someone who had mistakenly gotten pregnant in high school and had someone’s baby. Not to mention, she had been forced to take that baby away from her father without so much as a word. But all those things made Shilo. Needless to say, life was not easy. When she first moved, she was determined to get herself and her daughter out of her parents’ home, even if she didn’t make it back to her father’s baby, which she hadn’t managed to accomplish yet. She hadn’t even made an attempt to replace Chase in Anjel’s life. In fact, maybe Shilo purposely made sure she told every guy that ever approached her that she was a single mother in the hopes that it would scare them all away. Well, so far, so good. She had managed to scare away every straight guy that showed an interest in her. She didn’t want their attention or their “love.” The ones that had accepted Anjel were a little harder to get rid of than the ones that decided a child, someone else’s child, was too much to take care of. To those people she made sure she showed pictures of her and Chase with Anjel. Shilo made sure they knew how controlling and obsessive her parents had become since an unplanned pregnancy became of their daughter. She did everything that would keep them from asking her on a date. She had already picked up and left on him. She couldn’t afford to commit infidelity, even they were no longer together and thousands of miles apart.

Somehow, quite expectedly, she had become very lonely and kind of disconnected. The only friend she had that remained was one she had met when she first came to Forks, a boy who decided she was perfect to receive relationship advice from. Really, her only company was the daughter she conceived, and it was hard to look at Anjel some days. Shilo looked at the girl and only saw Chase. The only features Anjel possessed that belonged to Shilo was her flaming red hair and her nose. Anjel’s eyes reminded Shilo distinctively of looking into Chase’s. In fact, when Anjel had asked Shilo why daddy hadn’t come to look for her and why he wasn’t around, they reminded Shilo of the night she told Chase she was pregnant. Looking into those eyes killed her and to see her daughter bare the same eyes two weeks before this day made her almost cry. She had been praying that Chase would find them after they moved. She prayed for it even more when she saw Anjel so torn over the fact that her dad wasn’t around. Until she could find a way to contact Chase, Shilo had been doing everything in her power to keep her daughter’s mind of the missing link in her life. She took Anjel to her grandparents, invited over “Uncle Blake,” Shilo’s best friend, and “Aunt Laney,” Blake’s girlfriend who didn’t care much for Shilo but was in love with Anjel, and even took her to the park regularly to play with friends she had manage to make. She was much better at making friends with people than her mother. Today, those options being out, Shilo had decided to take Anjel to the docks. It had become one of her favorite places as she liked to sit on the ground near the lake and feed the ducks. It was also very quiet and really secluded, those being Shilo’s favorite features. It seemed like a good plan to her. How could it ever fail?

Shilo, holding Anjel’s hand, led her daughter down to the water, a loaf of bread in Anjel’s hand. When they sat down together, Anjel sat close to Shilo. She wouldn’t lie. She found it adorable that her daughter sat so close to her all the time. They were so close. In fact, the only person Anjel would be closer to would probably be Chase. She was a definite daddy’s girls. As a mother, her mother, Shilo was kind of jealous of it. If ever Anjel was screaming and crying and Shilo couldn’t fix it, all she had to do was call Chase or hand the baby over to him and in a matter of seconds she would be calm. Then again, she had a tendency to stress out and babies supposedly knew when their parents were freaking out. She was not one to handle everything so well, not until Anjel was at least sleeping through the night. Only then did Shilo calm down enough to function like a normal human being. But doing it all alone was worse than anything. She had her parents to thank for that. It was also a reason she tried to keep them at a distance between her and Anjel. Shilo never told them where she was, unless she wanted to see them for something, like meeting up once or twice in the past weeks. They weren’t really her friends. She became aware of that when she came home from school one day and everything was packed in a moving van and she was forced into a car. Too bad she wasn’t sure she could convince Chase that happened. She wondered how he would honestly take that news. Would he believe her or think she was lying in an attempt to put it all on her parents? It wasn’t like Shilo didn’t understand what they were trying to do. They were trying to get her away from a town that practically shunned her and paid no attention to her. She just didn’t appreciate it. She was fine with things the way they were.

And now, Shilo had grown accustomed to this life, even if she wasn’t sure she liked it all that much. In reality, she was happy as long as Anjel was happy. Really, though, Shilo didn’t think keeping her daughter’s mind off things would fix what had happened. It wouldn’t take back what she had asked. Sure, Anjel was happy sitting right there, tossing bread crumbs as far as her little arms would let her, but this “happiness” was really only for the moment. It wouldn’t last long. Shilo knew to enjoy this while it lasted. It was only a matter of time before she was once again asked the question about Chase, and she wasn’t sure how to respond to it. She couldn’t just lie about it, but she didn’t want to put any negativity towards Anjel’s grandparents. Shilo felt more than enough anger towards them for both her and her daughter. No need to make anyone else mad at them. Anjel would just have to grow up hating Shilo for the lack of a father. That would be fine with her. But for now, there was no hate between the two of them. That was good. They had a bond that was quite obvious when, after about an hour or so of throwing bread into the air, Anjel tried her very best to wrap her arms around Shilo and nuzzled against her. Shilo moved her daughter so that she was sitting in her lap. It was just a matter of time until she was asleep. Then it would be hard to move Anjel, bu Shilo couldn’t do that. Things were just too cute the way they were. She decided she would have to wait until Anjel decided she was ready to go. It was funny how she was the one that took control of when they did things. Shilo lost that a long time ago, like when Anjel was born and woke everyone up at all hours of the night. So, it wasn’t hurting her to wait longer. What could happen in the time she would spend there to harm anyone? If they needed her, they had her phone number. That was it.

TAG !? chase ♥
WORD COUNT !? 1,393
GRAPHICS !? by nixon
LOCATION !? the docks
WEARING !? this
LYRICS !? careful ;; paramore
CREDITS !? <33 @ CAUTION 2.0
NOTES !?

[chase12]

<sup>At twenty-one, Chase never once saw himself being a father. Not that he could really call himself a father since he had no idea where his child was. The boy was clueless on where to look, he didn’t even know why Shilo had left like that. One day she had been there, the next she was gone. Within the blink of an eye, and there was nothing Chase could do about it besides try and move on with his life. In reality, Chase knew that it would be next to impossible because he had wanted to be apart of that babies life, and then she had been whisked away from him before he had known it. In truth, Chase had tried to find Shilo, but he hadn’t known the first place to look when it all came down to it, and he just didn’t have the energy anymore. He didn’t want to think about what he had lost, and decided that it was really time for him to move with his life. So, he had moved to that small town everyone went to for a fresh start. A town where no one knew your face, and he could make whatever impression he pleased. His parents hadn’t been too happy about him moving away from Cali, but they let him. They couldn’t have stopped him, he was twenty-one, and was an adult. Chase had managed to find a job in Port Angeles, and find a cheap apartment to live in. He knew it wasn’t much, but it was something, and he could work his way through life like that. He didn’t have his parents support on staying in Washington for the rest of his miserable life, but Chase didn’t care. He was staying there.

Chase, after Shilo had left, didn’t have very many friends left. It wasn’t like he had pushed them away purposely, he just felt that he no longer had a reason to hang around them, not when they were all in love with someone, and were constantly with their lover. Chase just didn’t want to be around that kind of thing because it constantly reminded him of what he had lost. They had been sympathetic at first, but Chase knew that they had grown weary of his self pity, and just stopped calling him after a while. In truth, Chase didn’t really care. They weren’t what he wanted, what he wanted was the little girl he had lost, Anjel. She was an angel in all truth. She was the most adorable child Chase had ever laid eyes on, and he wasn’t saying that because she was his daughter. He was saying that because it was true. She’d ended up with Shilo’s red hair, and her cute nose. Anjel had ended up with Chase’s eyes, and well, she looked more like him then Shilo in truth. The girl, when he saw her, was much like most little girls. Anjel was a daddy’s girl, and Chase had liked that. He thought that well, that he and his daughter would have a strong relationship, but he soon discovered that this wouldn’t be the case. Chase always wondered what she would ask Shilo when she got older. He also wondered what Shilo would tell her. Whether it’d be the truth, or if she’d make Chase look bad, and say that he didn’t want to be apart of her life.

Chase knew that this wasn’t true. He had been Anjel’s life for the first two years of her life, and had planned to stay there till he died, but obviously Shilo had other plans. Many times Chase had pondered whether or not Shilo had moved because Chase wasn’t as serious about some things as she was. Or maybe it was because he was such a good father, that maybe it scared Shilo that Anjel would like him better. Then, he took into consideration her parents, and how they didn’t like Chase all too much because he had gotten their little girl pregnant. Chase believed that it took two people to make a baby, so Shilo played her fair share in making Anjel as well. Chase thought this all out while he got dressed that afternoon, he had nothing better to think about, plus he had been looking at a family picture that Shilo, Anjel, and himself took a few weeks before they had moved. This was only one of many pictures Chase had of his little girl. Chase moved around his bathroom, getting dressed for the day, and straightening his hair. He was getting ready to go to work, and he needed something to distract his mind from Shilo and Anjel. Chase was use to his routine now, it took a few weeks to get use to, but he managed. He got up, took a shower, ate breakfast, got dressed, then went off to either work or school.

After twenty minutes of straightening his hair, Chase grabbed the keys to his car, and was off to work. It only took him a half hour to get to work, so he wasn’t worried about being late. Even if he was, they didn’t care. Chase was probably the best employee that guy had. That sounded kind of cocky, but it was true. Chase never questioned what he said, he always did what he was told, and never complained about anything. How much better could you get? Plus, all he did was stock things in the back, there wasn’t much else for him to do. Anyways, the drive to Port Angeles was quiet, just a little music in background, but nothing too heavy. Chase had sort of let music go after Shilo left. She was his inspiration for writing and playing, but now he didn’t have that inspiration, so he decided that it was time to get serious about his life. He decided that he was going to go to school for computers. He was good with computers, so it only made sense for him to go into computers. It was easy, but it wasn’t cheap. He had help from his parents, but he was still going to have loans he needed to pay off. Finally though, Chase arrived at work. When he walked in, George told him that he didn’t need Chase in today. Crap, Chase wished he would have called and said something.

Chase grumbled an okay, and walked out angrier then what he had been before. Chase wasn’t one to have a temper, but he felt that nothing was on his side anymore, and that he should just get a break everyone in a while. Jeez! Instead of going to his car, Chase decided that he was going to take a walk on the docks, and try to calm down a little. As he was walking, he saw a girl sitting on the docks with an even littler girl. The older girl had very familiar red hair, as did the younger one. No freaking way. That could not be Shilo, there was no way, Chase was just seeing things. He was delusional now, great! Now he was going to have to go to the crazy house. It was better then living at this moment right now. Chase could barely believe what his eyes were seeing, so he had to get a closer look. Chase walked forward towards the girl, then said in a low whisper, ”Shilo?”</sup>

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^{&& tagged ---}[/b] Shilo <3
&& words ---[/b] 1,233
&& outfit ---[/b] here
&& lyrics ---[/b] “airplanes” by b.o.b.
&& notes ---[/b] don't laugh at the purpleness. I was too lazy to make him mine xD
&& credit ---[/b] 20shadesOFblack of CAUTION 2.0![/sup]